What I Want For Mother’s Day

There’s something about this third baby that has totally changed the way I see my life. I feel like there are so many times that I am taking “visual snapshots.” Slowing down is still something I struggle with, but I find myself lingering longer, studying my girls’ features, trying to mentally capture each tiny thing. Suddenly I know how fleeting these moments are.

There’s a Mother’s Day video going viral right now that really bums me out. I’m not sure when Mother’s Day became a day to get away from your kids or a day to wish your kids were different. I mean, that’s not exactly what the video says but moms everywhere are agreeing with this mom who says that she just wants one day off. I mean I could use a day off too, I’d love to get some sleep for once, or to watch a show that isn’t animated or to not be cleaning the kitchen at 9 pm. A break WOULD be nice but this mom’s Mother’s Day wish is that her kids call for their dad every time they want to call “mom” and she doesn’t want them to talk to her unless they are going to tell her how much they love her. Someone give this lady a break! Give us all a break! We need a break!!!! But is Mother’s Day really the day for that?

Motherhood in the Trenches

You see here’s the thing, I don’t love listening to my kids argue with each other, and sometimes I just want to yell, “Everyone find a corner and stay there until dinner!” even when it’s only 3pm. Sometimes listening to their tattles problems drives me insane. “Seriously, my dear children, just deal with it! Life is not all about YOU!” Sometimes I dread the sound of, “Moooom!” But here’s the thing, someday not too far in the future, my kids are going to want to have dinner at their friend’s house and there will be an empty seat at our dinner table. If I don’t listen to their problems now, one day they will stop telling me their problems and will find comfort in the ears of their peers. One day my girls will be completely self-dependent and won’t be calling, “Mooooom!” nearly enough.

I’m not trying to be sappy here, I’m being genuine. It’s taken me six years to realize this, these years are so fleeting. Not just these infant years but every single second. Big Sis isn’t always going to come skipping into my room to sit next to me on the bed. Little E isn’t always going to want to cuddle for 5 seconds before she runs off to the next adventure. Baby Girl is changing by the minute. I don’t want to wish these days away, not even on Mother’s Day. I KNOW it’s hard and there are times, every single day, that I think, “I need a break!” but this Mother’s Day I want to watch my girls run around. I want to hear their stories, as long and tedious as they may be. I want to look into their eyes and let them know that they are loved. It won’t be all rainbows and butterflies, I have a two year old after all. There will be meltdowns and ungrateful attitudes, there will most definitely be a lack of sleep and of course the stress of getting out of the house to make it to church on time, but I want to enjoy every moment and let my kids know that I am enjoying them too.

I could use a break, a spa day sounds amazing! It’s so easy for me to slip into a selfish mentality, and I have spent many a Mother’s Day expecting to be pampered but not this Mother’s Day. This Mother’s Day I’m going to be extra careful to pay attention to every aspect that makes me a mother, even the really hard moments, and thank the Lord that He has given me these people and this opportunity.

 

Hey Baby!

It’s been over three months since I’ve last posted and the Dallas family is now a party of five.

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After what seemed like the longest pregnancy and shortest labor, our third baby girl joined our family on January 3rd.

Hey Baby 1

She’s teeny tiny compared to my other two girlies.

Hey-Baby-2

She is my third baby with colic which was so hard. I’ve cut out dairy from my diet completely and she’s become a pretty easy-going baby, which I couldn’t have said about my other two, even when they did get over their colic.

Hey-Baby-3

She’s been such a joy.

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I was so nervous about having three kiddos. I heard from so many people that the transition to three kids is really hard but so far it hasn’t been bad at all. I think by now I’ve learned to let things go and just focus on what’s most important. Some days that meant everyone just remained fed and alive but everything gets a bit easier with each day that passes. It does take us a LONG time to get out of the house but we are back to homeschooling and nature days out exploring. We made it to church on Easter and again last week. I’ve survived a few shopping trips with all three kids but I try to run errands when the hubby can watch at least one of them. We also survived for 8 days while Dirk was in Iceland! That was quite an accomplishment and everything went so smoothly. There are times that all three girls are melting down and we can’t help but look around us and just laugh. It’s chaos but it’s also so fun. Overall the adjustment hasn’t been bad at all. I’m looking forward to getting back to “normal” and jumping back into blogging. I have lots of posts pending that I’m hoping to share with you all soon. Thanks for sticking around!

 

I’m Back and With Big News!

I love to blog and have missed it so much. Our first year of homeschooling required a lot more from me than I had anticipated, add to that hosting and Eisley’s health issues and unfortunately the blog had to go on the back burner for awhile. I’m back and I have some fun things to share in the coming weeks.

But first…there’s big news in the Dallas family!!!

Baby Announcement with the Help of a Drone! from Dirk Dallas on Vimeo.

That’s right we are officially going to be “Dallas Party of FIVE.” And we’re having another girl! I laugh every time I think of it. I always thought if I didn’t have a mix of boys and girls that I’d definitely be a “boy mom” but alas I am a “girl mom.”  A girl mom who doesn’t know how to French braid or really do much more than pigtails or ponytails, I am horrible at painting nails and have had maybe three pedicures in her entire life. I’m not very girlie but to know that God saw it fit for us to raise three girls in this world is a challenge that I am happily and prayerfully accepting. It’s gonna be a wild ride so stick around. :)

When God Says, “No.”

I didn’t anticipate this, I didn’t anticipate the struggle, I have never gone through this. God is growing me and it hurts. I feel like spiritually I have been prepared for God’s yeses. As I have attended church my whole life and walked with God for most of my life, I have so many times heard about the dangers of telling God no. Don’t be like Jonah, when God tells you to go, you go. I have often prayed for God to tell me to go, proclaiming with Isaiah, “Here I am, send me!” This past year has been a time of living through that “Go!” and obeying and being nervous in the obedience but so excited and trusting Him fully. It has been a rich season.

As a new season comes, He has told us no for something and it’s hard. I wasn’t prepared for this, “What do I do now Lord?” His answer has been, “Be still and know that I am God.” I don’t like to be still, I want to GO! Our pastor has often said, “Sometimes God says,”Go!” Sometimes God says,”No!”Sometimes God says,”Slow!” And sometimes, God says ”GROW!” I thought I understood that, but I guess I always envisioned God’s, “No” to be when it was something not right like, “Don’t buy that house” or “Don’t take that job” I never thought that God’s, “No” would be, “Don’t do that good work, it’s not what I have for you.” It is much harder for me to step back and obey in this “no” than it ever has been to obey to His, “Go.”

To be still, to wait, to obey in this quiet season, it’s not easy. I trust He has a plan, not just for us but for all who are affected by God’s, “No.” And as difficult as it is, I will be still and as He has shown me, I will meditate on these words, “Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!” Psalm 27:14

Hosting L – An Update

It’s been almost 2 weeks now that L has been with us. I had every intention of updating the blog at least once a week but with the holidays and trying to be extra present for all three girls, it just hasn’t happened.

We picked up L from the airport on December 14th. It was such a nerve wracking day. I was SO excited and SO nervous. She walked out of the elevator as a stranger, someone we knew only by face but already loved so much. It’s amazing how God can give you love for someone you don’t even know. We awkwardly hugged and she looked us in the eye and said, “Hello, my name is L (except that she really said her name, heh)” It was like she had rehearsed it over and over during her 24 hour trip to get to America. We all looked at her and said, “Hi! You know some English!” She smiled big and said, “Yes, I know a little English.” We were thrilled! When we later asked her what she was thinking that day she said that she was surprised to see us so excited and with a big welcome sign and she thought we looked like teenagers…haha! I’ll take that compliment sweet girl.

Hosting L - Week One | Motherhood in the Trenches

L is so bright and can be so bubbly. Her English is good and is getting better every day. The constant charades in our house are quite funny but we’ve found that it is a great bonding experience, I mean charades 24/7 how can you not love that, ha! Big Sis often forgets that L doesn’t understand all that we say so she just talks and talks and talks. Poor L gets so weary after awhile but luckily L has headphones and an Mp3 player to help her tune out for a bit when she needs to.

L has shared with us much about her country and the city she lives in. She’s told us of trips to the zoo and museum and what life is like in her country.  She showed us pictures on her Facebook telling us about her friends and family. She relayed visions of a good life in a great place. As days have passed and topics come up that we’ve talked about before, we see the facade begin to crumble and the embellished stories begin to change into something more real, more raw, more painful. Things aren’t as peachy for our kiddo as she was making them seem. When she first arrived she appeared to be a gilr who needed nothing and no one and now as each day passes we see more of her needs and more of her reality.

Hosting L - Week One | Motherhood in the Trenches

The burning question that everyone seems to have is “How’s it going?” I don’t have any grand stories to tell you. I can tell you it’s going really well. We have all fallen in love with this girl and she’s let us know that she’s pretty fond of us too. Each day is just about living life as we normally would. Sharing Christ with her just as we do with Big Sis and Little E. Loving L, letting her know that she is special, speaking words of affirmation to her. She is such a fun girl. She can be so silly and so funny. My favorite times are when she lets her guard down and acts like a young girl should. She’s silly and awkward and likes fun girl things. Sometimes we forget how young she is because she seems to be mature for her age but when she lets her guard down, she’s just a young girl looking for attention, affirmation and a good time.

Hosting L - Week One | Motherhood in the Trenches

We have made great strides in her trust toward us. Her barriers slowly crumble as she watches us interact with Big Sis and Little E. When new people enter the scene, she pulls away from us, testing our loyalty to her. As soon as she sees that our loyalty is always to her (and Big Sis and Little E) first, the headphones go away and she opens up to the new people knowing that she has a special place with us that no one else can take from her.

We started out with an awkwardly aloof goodnight hug but that has now become a warm embrace. Darting eyes now look back at mine and smile a warm smile. Her eyes close as we pray and she says, “Amen” with the rest of us. She jokes with Dirk, loves on Little E and plays so well with Big Sis. Her bedroom door, once closed to go to sleep, now remains open each night. “Iss open, iss good.” A dentist visit full of nerves, her making jokes the whole way there until finally she asks, “You, uh, come dentist?” Yes, sweet girl, I will be there with you. Trust building each minute, love being shown every chance we get, words of encouragement spoken and two little “sisters” who can’t get enough of her. Big strides this girl is making. She is brave, she is strong and she is amazing.

Hosting L - Week One | Motherhood in the Trenches

Everything has gone really smoothly. There were so many fears going into this but they have all been dispelled. As scary as it is, I have been praying for things to go just a bit awry. That probably sounds strange to say but I don’t think that she can truly see how much we love her unless she sees us loving her at her worst. It’s easy to love when things are going well, not as easy when things aren’t going well. I pray that God will give us the opportunity to let her know that we will love her unconditionally through the good and the bad.

For those of you who have been praying for us, thank you! To each of you who have texted us and let us know you’re thinking of us, thank you! I’m sorry if we are slow to respond but please know that we are so thankful and so encouraged by each person who has reached out to us. We are being very mindful of our time and being as present in each moment as we possibly can be. We often do not have our phones on us and by the time we finally sit down for the night we are taking care of as much business as we can before practically falling in bed.  We are having an amazing time but we are also very tired. :)

Some of you have asked for specific ways to pray for us. Here are a few prayer requests:

Pray for health, we are still battling viruses over here and it’s driving me bonkers! I’m ready for everyone to just be healthy. Also pray for us to get sleep. Little E has suddenly decided that sleep is overrated and is waking up at least twice a night and staying up for extended periods of time leaving me exhausted and the rest of the household a bit sleep deprived. Also, please continue to pray that we can make breakthroughs with L and let her know that we love her and MOST importantly that she would learn that God loves her so deeply.

Thank you our dear friends for sharing God’s love with us and supporting us in this journey. We love you!