Fourteen Years

His red truck pulled up next to my house, I remember taking one last look in the mirror and then hanging out in the kitchen while my brothers were carving pumpkins, pretending like I hadn’t been waiting for him to get there. I was 17, Dirk was 18. He came in the house and chatted with my brothers about carving pumpkins and then we headed out to coffee.

“It’s not a date, just coffee.” I kept telling my mom this but she knew better. I was wearing black dress pants and a light blue button up dress shirt, I hadn’t bothered to change from the office clothes I had worn to work, I didn’t want to make a big deal of this. I was adamant about guarding myself from any feelings that so many of my friends had fallen into prematurely. This was just coffee…with a friend…who was a guy…that I reeeeally liked…ah! No time for thoughts like that, stay focused.

We went into Starbucks, Dirk made a call to a friend because he couldn’t remember what drink he liked from there. He ordered a caramel Frappuccino, still his favorite fourteen years later, and I ordered a caramel apple cider. We sat in cushy chairs facing each other. I have no idea how the conversation started, but I do know that during this time we basically told each other that we “liked” each other, so awkward haha. Dirk made it very clear that he wanted to be very cautious, he told me that he wanted to do this right. We both had read many Christian dating books, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” “I Gave Dating a Chance” “He’s Hot, She’s Hot” and my personal favorite “Passion and Purity.” We had read it all and we were more than prepared, perhaps too prepared. Dirk shared Psalm 37:4 with me “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” He shared that while we knew the desire of our hearts, we needed to spend time focused on the Lord and let him guide us. We decided to take things slow….REALLY slow.

Motherhood in the Trenches

This pic cracks me up. We went to homecoming with a group of friends just a few weeks before our Starbucks “date.”

Sometimes I take myself back to that day. I think of all the butterflies and excitement. I think of the fear, which was greater after our meeting than before. I think of the 7 months that went by before we made things “official.” I think of the next 7 years before we got married.Β  I think of how I lived my life then. What would I tell 17 year old me, sitting in that cushy chair in Starbucks?

First of all, I would tell myself to find true love in God alone, it would have saved me a lot of heartache. To find satisfaction in no man, no friend, but in God alone. I would tell myself to serve. To use the excessive amount of free time I had to serve others, to get involved somewhere meaningful, to make a difference, instead I wasted years of my life idling. I would tell myself that fairy tales aren’t real and while some dreams may be shattered along the way, and life gets harder than you could have ever imagined, true love is so much deeper and so much richer than any fairy tale romance.

I am so thankful for my husband and so thankful for that day, fourteen years ago that changed our lives. It feels like yesterday and forever ago all at the same time. Here’s to many more! I love you Dirk Dallas!